It is normal to wonder if your therapist likes you. It is also normal not to know how you feel about your therapist. There are specific therapeutic responsibilities that therapists uphold to remain professional. In my own experience with therapy, that was super tough. As a therapist, I like to let my clients know these key “truths” about therapy. You know, to ease the rigidness.

1. There is no “right” reason to start therapy

First of all, I am so happy you are here. Exactly as you are and exactly where you are at this moment. It is good because it is your truth. In the human experience, we get to see snippets of so much: joy, grief, confusion, excitement, relief, and newness. Everyone will experience these spectrums differently, so it is impossible to compare any two experiences.

Perhaps you are interested in therapy, but you don’t feel like your problems are “big enough,” or maybe you don’t feel that the time commitment is worth it. The beauty of therapy is that everyone belongs.

People might show up to therapy to:

✹ Process trauma or address symptoms that are significantly impacting their lives.

✹ Learn ways to communicate their wants and needs to others.

✹ Hear an outside perspective - someone who doesn’t know the “key players” in their life.

✹ Build skills to cope with stress and anxiety.

✹ See a new perspective on an old/recurring problem or “stuck point”

✹ Have a space to vent or explore who they are.

Many of my clients, and perhaps you relate to this, desire a space that is theirs. In a world like ours, it is not uncommon for people to find themselves caring more for others than themselves. Overextending. Forgetting themselves. Feeling lost in the chaos of it all. That is where therapy comes in. There are no “rules” to who can show up and experience healing.

2. The more real you are, the more healing you can find

Trust takes time. There is NO pressure to share everything you have ever wanted to process in Session One. But when the time is right, the more real and raw you show up, the more I can support you.

When it comes to being human, there may be some parts that don’t feel particularly shiny and cool. I know. It totally sucks to talk about the moments when we were NOT our best selves. However, in those moments of realness, we get a glimpse of the true you. We can explore your fear and your pain. We can see your heart and intention.

“Why do I have to talk about it? I just want to ignore it and move on!”

Fair. But consider this. When we call things into the light, it allows us to see them for what they are. When we invite all of our parts into our healing journey, we can grow in our compassion for those parts of ourselves that we have been a bit hard on.

Your full story is safe with your therapist. Take your time, but know that once you call those parts into the light, we can truly see you and start the healing journey.

3. What if I trigger my therapist?

“I am so sorry. I totally just trauma-dumped on you!”

“I don’t want to trigger my therapist, but my stuff is heavy.”

I appreciate the care you have for us! I can see the heart behind this concern. This comes up often - especially for my clients who have a history of people in their life not having the capacity to hold their stories with care.

One of the most sacred parts of our profession is when we can connect with a piece of your story, whether you are aware of the connection or not. Often, therapists find themselves in this career because we have once been where you are now.

The good news is this: therapists are trained to care without carrying. What this means is that therapists have years of experience in hearing our client’s stories, sitting with them in it, inviting them into a new way of being, and then letting ourselves process that experience at a later time.

Every therapist is different. In my personal practice, I often find myself laughing, celebrating, and even crying with my clients. It is super important for your therapist to balance empathy with professional therapeutic skills.

And for the record, you are not “trauma-dumping” in therapy - you are practicing self-care by allowing yourself to release things that have been held in because of a fear of being “too much”. You are enough and you are safe!

4. Therapists are like shoes

I say it all the time. Therapists are like shoes: just because they are your size, does not mean they are your style or that they are comfortable to you.

Therapists are diverse in experience, passion, training, identity, and style. That is IMPORTANT. If you don’t feel that your therapist is a great fit - you don’t have to stay out of loyalty.

Our job is to support YOU and to walk with you through your healing journey in whatever way you choose. There are NO hard feelings if you feel someone else might be a more comfortable fit. I actually support that major.

Curious about how to find the right therapist for you? Check out my free checklist. Finding the right fit can be really tough. You are not alone and most certainly should not sit through sessions with a therapist that is not your vibe!

5. That thing we talked about last session - you can do it!

You know what I am talking about. That thing that you have been waiting for or avoiding. That practice that you know will feel really good and right. That conversation that will inevitably lead you to freedom.

Go do that. I am cheering for you!

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Haleigh Culverhouse LCSW

Welcome!

My name is Haleigh, and I'm a Licensed Clinical Social Worker based in Lake Jackson, Texas. My private practice is a safe and inclusive place for all. Whether you need to process an issue significantly impacting your life or explore more of your personality and who you are - you belong here.